I write these posts for myself first and foremost, but hope others may find some comfort, inspiration, or joy from reading them.  Too often we fool ourselves into believing we are something we are not.  Almost everyone takes their health for granted until they get sick.  You convince yourself the unhealthy routines in your life are normal and really don't make much of a difference.  You believe you're generally a pretty healthy person.  Take a moment today to sit and think.  What would you rank as your top five responsibilities for good health?  Exercise, healthy eating, stretching, meditation, love, kindness, education?  Pick five.  Now how many of these do you truly make part of your daily life?  I for one know I have a long way to go.  Take care of yourself today so you can enjoy the now.  Now is all we are promised. Selah.

Imagination

Remember your imagination as a child?  What happened?  You learned that life is hard and times get tough and reality bites?  Try to remember how open the world used to seem.  The endless possibilities and opportunities to create, explore and invent.  It's difficult to look at something you've already seen and have new thoughts or curiosities, but it's crucial to your creative mind.  Open up again, forget what you think you know.  Go forth and explore.

Hugo Inspired

Beginner's Mind

It's important to make changes in your life.  Break away from the routine.  Do something unexpected.  Challenge yourself to try something new.  I decided to trade my 2008 Mazdaspeed3 for a 1965 Ford F-100.  Living out a dream.  Going from dangerously (and fun) fast to slow rolling.  I have to admit, it all feels so right.  Don't be afraid to chase what you love.

Responsibility

No matter how alone you may think you are, someone out there cares for you.  Take responsibility for your actions.  Don't think you live in a bubble.  Every stone you throw into the pond has ripple effects far beyond your radius of thought.  Out of respect for the concerns and well being of those around you, be aware of your actions.  Be conscious.  Awake.  Remember the butterfly effect today as you move about this Earth.

Dreams

I have always loved sleep.  I could sleep 12 hours a day every day and be perfectly happy.  I realize everyone responds to sleep in different ways and for many, 7 or more hours becomes too much.  My favorite part of sleeping is dreaming.  Your mind works on all sorts of issues and problems while you're asleep.  The longer you sleep, the more problem solving you accomplish.  Is that true?  Seems logical from my own personal experiences.  As a child I would be stuck on a computer error or program issue and would fall asleep trying to find a solution.  I would often times wake up with a solution and quickly write it down to try in the morning once fully awake.  More often than not, it worked.  Make sure you allow yourself time for uninterrupted sleep.  The peace of mind that follows is well worth it.

Inspire

If you knew your actions today were to be mimicked and copied by a child looking up to you, would your day remain the same?  If you would change certain actions, why?  If the life you are living isn't one you would wish for a child searching for good in life, why are you living it?  Don't punish yourself with self flagellation for your past wrongs, shortcomings or sins.  You have been given another day to live and enjoy the amazing gift of life.  Don't waste it by creating future regrets.

I hate cancer.  It is seemingly everywhere in my life.  I fear it's only a matter of time before someone in my immediate family or myself ends up with a diagnosis.  Try as I may to raise money to support research, treatment and prevention, cancer seems unstoppable.  Give thanks for every day of health you're given.

Who Are You Living For

At what point do you become content with knowing "who  you are?" This seems to be a difficult task, as we are continually changing.  Who we are today is different from who we were yesterday and who we might be tomorrow.  Perhaps the whole idea of "me" is flawed.  Look in the mirror and realize nothing's there.  We are nothing and everything all at once.

Searching

I journey through life dreaming of who I want to be while being what society has set me up to be.  As I try to break the shackles from my wings I pray for flight and freedom.

Signature

Forms

We form habits and then our habits form us.  It's helpful to take a step back from time to time and take a look at your habitual routines.  At times you may not even realize something has become habit, daily even.  Make sure the person you picture yourself as, and the person your actual actions display, are in line with each other.  If not, work on it.  You'll become a better person and have more peace in your heart.

Vegetarian

I've loved meat my entire life (insert joke here). I am attempting to eat vegetarian meals more often now though. Mostly for health reasons as the meat in this country is treated like crap and filled with hormones and preservatives.

Today I cooked some Punjabi Chhole and some veggie chow mein. We'll see how long this lasts. I will say I feel full, but great, not bloated or stuffed.

Also enjoying some African Rooibos tea. Nice flavor, ton of antioxidants and no caffeine.

Trying to take care of myself where I can these days. No time like the present.


- Drew

Used To

I used to skateboard every day.  Now I sit in front of a computer every day.  Do you decide how much you are worth?  Does it matter what worth others assign you?  Are the opportunities limitless or is it all a facade? These are the types of questions that can "get me into trouble."  Should I go through the motions and stop contemplating the existential abyss? Live in the moment.  Focus.

Come on Irene

Well, time for a tropical storm it looks like. I hope there is minimal damage and little loss of life. Mother Nature can create some wild experiences. Even in the midst of devastation, we stand in awe of such power.


- Drew

Shotgun

Accept that your friends are getting older along side you. Your life will change, so will theirs, but we're on the same ride. Comforting.

Adventure in spite of fear

It's easy to become a homebody as you get older.  It's not necessarily a desire so to speak, but a complacency that sets in.  Why venture out and try new things when you can sit at home and be comfortable with what you know?  This, in my opinion is the begging of the end.  A day you try nothing new, learn nothing new, experience nothing new, is a day wasted.  You are only given so many days.  Don't waste today, live it.

mewithoutYou

New band for me today.  They're opening for one of my favorite bands, Alkaline Trio on Sunday at the Black Cat in DC.  I'm digging this stuff.  Wide variety if you listen through them all.  Check em out:

mewithoutYou SoundCloud

Go Humming Bird

Like all of the birds of the sky, the mammals on the Earth, and the fish of the sea, I believe we are all born to be free.  Rules, regulations, laws, expectations, social norms and fear all lead us to lives of restriction and slavery.  Open your eyes, listen to the wind, smile at the living being beside you and live.  Live free.

Clean Up

Clean up the messes in your life.  Even if you think they're out of sight out of mind, subconsciously they're eating away at your sense of peace and calm.  Rid your home of clutter, clean up your desk at work.  Get the trash out of your car.  Purposeful and planned chaos can be a wonderful thing, but in general, having order in your life better prepares you for the unknown or unexpected.  You're difficult to push over if you already have your feet in their proper place.

Open Eyes

Worrying over the inevitable ruins the joy of the surprise.


- Drew

Panic Anxiety and Depression

Partly because it’s therapeutic for me and mainly because I hope it may bring some future good, I wanted to fill everyone in on my health issues over the past year. 

In October of 2010 I had my first full-blown panic attack and spent the evening in two different ERs pretty sure I was having a heart attack and would die.  I saw a half dozen doctors and took a slew of tests, but was continually told there was nothing wrong with me.  Over the next few months I continued to have spikes in anxiety and eventually was having daily anxiety attacks, even hourly, every day of the week.  Depression and anxiety are like the chicken and the egg so it’s difficult to say which one came first but they always go hand-in-hand. In April things got worse.  Eventually the 24/7 anxiety led me to decide I was going to kill myself.  I was admitted to Arlington Hospital and spent three days in the psych ward against my will. They decided I needed to be on drugs of course and I had to take them or I wouldn't be released.  Once I figured out the game, I knew what I had to do to get out and did.  It reminded me of what I suspect prison to be like.

For 4 1/2 weeks, taking Zoloft was pure hell…pure.fucking.hell.  The side effects were unbelievably torturous.  Eventually things started to level out and I gained a greater understanding of what was happening through therapy and education. 

In general I have my life back now, for the most part.  I bring all of this up because when I was in the midst of it all, I thought all of these problems were uniquely mine and that no one would understand what I was going through.  I have since discovered there are millions of people like me and many even in my own family and circle of close friends.  I should have reached out for help sooner.  You have an incredible support group in your friends and as we continue to age we’re all sure to hit some obstacles in life.  Everything is easier with support.  Thank you to everyone for being supportive in your own way.  There is always hope, never lose faith.

Musical Inspiration

I played a show yesterday morning for about 200 little five -year-old kids. Inspiring children is an extremely rewarding experience. I played a show later that night as well. It is great to share musical moments with friends and family. I wish I could play music for a living there's just something about the give-and-take between a musician and the audience. It's a beautiful thing.



- Drew

What's That Now?

Not really sure what to make of this:

EAT ZEN?

Loss and Hope

10,000 Toro Nagashi

    On August 1st, Toro Nagashi was held as part of the Kawabiraki Festival, and 10,000 lanterns were floated down the Kitakami River.
 
As of July 29th - 3,149 people were confirmed dead and 890 others missing in Ishinomaki alone after the Great Eastern Japan Earthquake and Tsunami. 

Usugrow Shinganist

If you don't know, check this guy out.  Amazing pen and ink work.

Time Sink

People can waste your time.  When it comes to an office environment this rings far too true for many.  Learn to keep people away from your workspace, learn to say no when asked to do something that does not relate to your main goals of the day.  With focus, we could all work 4 hour days and be far more productive than the 9-5ers who constantly interrupt their train of thought with distractions.  Focus on the goal and get it accomplished.

Get what you need

I didn't feel much like driving out past Manassas today, but there was a get together for Rebekah's coworker who is leaving soon. A couple hours later and I'm sitting at a gas station listening to The Stones. "You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometime, you just might find you get what you need." Sitting out on a shaded porch discussing life in Costa Rica and enjoying some delicious traditional food was good nourishment for the soul. You never know what a seemingly inconvenient event may give you in return. Live your life and enjoy it.


- Drew

Familiar Fear

I've had a slight sense of panic all day.  I can shake it for a few hours but it creeps back in.  My stomach has been upset and I have a faint pain around my heart.  The combination of these sensations would have sent me to the hospital a few months back.  It's difficult to convince myself that everything is fine and I'm being hypersensitive, but that is the key.  None of these symptoms have ever lead to anything other than a panic attack and a visit to the ER.  I will take what I've learned in counseling and work towards calm and peace.  If all else fails, there's always Xanax as a last resort.

Just got a text from Diamonds stating "National chicken wing day today son. Get your BDubs on brah."

Haha.  Life goes on...

Heavy Hitters

This is some crazy ish.  I have to admit I am looking forward to listening to the final product.

For 18 months, Mick Jagger has been working on a secret album with Dave Stewart, Joss Stone, Damian Marley and AR Rahman. Super Heavy is the fitting name of this heavyweight musical collective, who plan to release their debut "fusion" album in September.

Story Here

Whoa, Watch Out Says That Bird

We are in the midst of a huge debt crisis, but the markets are behaving like The Honeybadger

The Honeybadger

Overwhelming

It's funny how many times this has taken place and yet I still fall victim to the "holy shit I'm never going to catch up" feeling of a busy morning at work.  From the moment I woke today, the emails, conference calls and projects have been relentlessly beating in my skull.  Feelings of helplessness and an overall dooming sense of madness crept in.  And yet, here I am, 4:24pm and I'm about caught up again.  Every now and then I have to simply allow myself to relinquish total control and focus on the work that can be done NOW not everything at once.

It's Gonna Rain All Day

Dan Andriano from Alkaline Trio is releasing his first solo album.  I've been listening to "It's Gonna Rain All Day" and it strikes a cord.  Who hasn't experienced the staring at the ceiling laying in bed pondering the intense emotional ping pong life can throw your way type of morning?  For over 12 years Alkaline Trio has provided a great soundtrack to my life.  The slightly dark and twisted melodic song style has comforted and at times seemingly mirrored different phases in my life.  I like what I hear from this project so far and will consider picking up the vinyl/t-shirt combo.  Check out some sample tunes from the new album here: The Emergency Room

What You Ingest You Digest

On a recent trip to Shenandoah National Park the below sight caught my attention.  Here I was, on top of the highest peak along Skyline Drive watching a beautiful sunset, and I wondered why I was so at peace.  Between the Zen related book, the Outside magazine, the apple and the prescription drugs mixed with vitamin supplements you might say it's obvious.  But none of the items on the table were providing the warm sense of peace I felt quenching the thirst inside my soul.  It was the natural environment.  The view of the valley below.  The smell of the coming storm.  The warm breeze that came from behind our cabin and floated off and over the cliff.  There is nothing quite like the gentle hand of Mother Nature.


- Drew

Ozark Fun

- Drew

Stephen Marley: Roots

Stephen Marley has been producing, playing and singing some of the best reggae music you've probably never heard for the past decade.  If you have the chance to catch his current tour, do it, your soul will thank you.  ROOTS!


- Drew

Cali Dreamin'

- Drew

Despair

- Drew

Food and Drink

I stopped by El Charrito yesterday, not realizing that they're closed on Tuesdays, and decided to try Arturo which is next door.  This was my first foray into Bolivian food.  It looked crazy.  Can't remember what I ordered but it was a huge piece of meat that had been pounded to a quarter inch thin then breaded and fried.  On top of that was two fried eggs, and that all sat on a bed of rice and fried potatoes.  Pretty darn tasty.

I then had some Irish Pale Ale, a couple Sierra Nevadas and three Flying Dogs.  Horrible Nats game, 1-9 loss, but it was a fun evening nonetheless.  I decided to stop by my friend Erin's house on my way home to catch up.  It's always good to pop in on a friend and share a few moments.  As usual I do not think I drank enough water yesterday and have felt it today.  The body just doesn't handle things like it used to.

Headed to the game again tonight, hoping for redemption.

I remember now, Silpacho, this pic is pretty close to what it looked like:

tUnE-YarDs

The tUnE-YarDs are definitely worth checking out.  Merrill Garbus creates crazy loops of sonic weirdness when performing live and manages to mold them into catchy pop songs one minute and crazy experimental Tom Waits style madness another.  I have the "w h o k i l l" album on vinyl and it's quite stimulating.

Tune-Yards

10/08/2011 09:00 PM

Black Cat

1811 14th St. NW Washington, DC 20009

Capability

I wonder what all I am capable of. If I put aside all of the limitations I impose upon myself. What can I do? What could you do? You read the stories, you feel the inspiration, but you never go for it on your own. Imagine. Dream. Grab life and live it. No one holds you back from greatness more than yourself.


- Drew

Outsiders

I wonder how different my day to day life would be if I worked outside.  If my office was immersed in Mother Nature instead of smothered in florescent lights and recycled air.  If there was a breeze, or when it rained it would actually effect me rather than briefly catch my attention from a window.  Much of this internet plugged in business lifestyle feels unnatural.  The evolution of technology, the revolution of technology, has moved at such incredible speeds over the past few decades.  The human brain and spirit don't stand a chance to properly adapt to this new world and time.  Go ahead and marinate on that for a minute...

Why So Alone?

Enjoying the moment. Not living in fear.

As the first signs of panic arise, recognize them, identify them, and conciously change direction. What are you fearing? Why? Is it actually happening now or is it yet another future fear? Bring your mind back to the present. Look around. Feel your surroundings. If those future fears seem legit, tell yourself you'll allow time for thought and introspection, but not right now. This moment is all that matters. It is the now that lasts forever and should be the focus.

Peace

Wugazi

Though they play different styles of music, Washington D.C. punk icons Fugazi and Staten Island’s Wu-Tang Clan are more closely linked than one might think. Both outfits are iconic in respective circles, pioneered the ethos of Do-It-Yourself in independent music and during their heydays, have had some of the most amazing live shows. Fugazi’s foray into the hip-hop world has been very limited (though some may recall Rick Rubin‘s sampling of the band’s “Closed Captioned,” for an unreleased JAY Z track from the “99 Problems” recording session in Fade to Black), whereas the Wu-Tang Clan’s pairings with rock have been hit or miss.

So in the creation of the mash-up/tribute album Wugazi 13 Chambers producers Cecil Otter and Swiss Andy had to tread lightly, pair carefully and find interesting ways to capture the essence of both groups without delivering something that was…limp. The end result is something that, despite Fugazi’s rougher songs, and the Wu-Tang’s off-kilter rhyme patterns, is chopped right, layered correctly and even with a few missteps, simply just works.

Download Wugazi’s 13 Chambers for free here.

Ghostface Killah with vintage African funk, high-life, and psychedelic rock music. Artwork by Joe Dichiara.

Download the remix album here: http://www.maxtannone.com/projects/ghostfunk/

Original Face

You cannot describe it or draw it,
You cannot praise it enough or perceive it.
No place can be found in which
To put the Original Face;
It will not disappear even
When the universe is destroyed.

- Mumon (13th cent)